I’m currently having a bit of a break from my three-meeting-per-week AA schedule because, to put it bluntly, I got the shits with it. I’m still talking regularly with my sponsor, members and friends, but the meetings were and are doing my head in.
Maybe I’ve been going to too many of the same meetings and hearing similar things from similar people too often?
It’s not that I don’t have anything to learn about my own sobriety and addictive nature, far from it. But, currently, it is the form and structure, the ritual and symbolism of AA, that I’m focussing on rather than the stories themselves. Maybe Antze was right all along?
The repetition of the same old tropes has me bleeding at the ears, when only a few months ago those same sayings (Keep it Simple! Easy does it!) were a salve for broodiness and fresh insecurities about the future. But, rather than chuck AA in the bin, I’ve just backed off my participation for the moment, and that’s ok
I’ve been particularly miffed at the religiousity of some members in AA. This is in addition to someone close to me purporting to have had a born again conversion while, at the same time, behaving like a bit of an arse.
Maybe its the recent, well-publicised shifts to the right in Australian political discourse, where a Prime Minister has been brought down in part by a government chasing the votes of disinfranchised, mostly white, Christian, poorly educated people living in rural and regional electorates in Queensland. This is a reflection of a broader shift internationally, where people who feel like they have not benefited from globalisation, who have lost their jobs to technology or competition, or who haven’t had a wage increase above inflation for years, are embracing populist candidates.
Leaders are appealing to humanity’s worst instincts, like nativism, and racism, whipping up unfounded fear and anger at African migrants in Melbourne, then cleansing their moral responsibilities at Church on Sundays. Our new PM, an evangelical, touted his role in establishing Australia’s inhumane refugee policy as a reason for his elevation. Like locking up decent human beings fleeing war and persecution, children and adults, with no release date on tropical gulags is a worthy credential for leading a nation.
I will say this: I avoided going out in Canberra last Wednesday and Thursday night in fear of encountering maruanding members of the Government’s Christian Right.
If you are reading this and suspect my God-botherer resentment is back, then you would be correct!
I’m not going to drink over it today. Someone else’s beliefs aren’t my business. But I live in a democracy and have a vote, and so do you (I hope) 🙂