I haven’t written a Social Drinking blog post for a while because I have been going through disturbances in my personal life. This means that I needed to sort out my own emotions and thoughts about a whole bunch of things. Now I can report back, like I do in AA meetings, with new insights about my alcoholism. It has been a rough but extremely beneficial few months.
In my last post I was reflecting on, and coming to terms with, the process of separation from my wife, which was heading towards divorce. I think the gravity of what we were about to do finally sunk in when we got to see each other face to face and we finally had some conversations that we probably should have had many years ago. We have decided to press ahead, and I’m feeling much more optimistic now about our relationship.
I have also had to take stock of my own behaviour during this period of disturbance. AA has this rule that I think should sit alongside ‘don’t be an asshole’ as a solid guide to good behaviour: ‘every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us’. Of course, in human relationships, there probably is something wrong other people who we interact with as well. But, that is not our responsibility.
I’ll give you a tip: if you want to win friends and influence people, don’t criticise them. Don’t take other people’s moral inventory and then feel it is your right to explain to them their personal failings when you feel they have done you wrong. You might get a punch in the face. Or you might hurt someone you love. This is one of those lessons I should have learnt years ago. Instead, I’ve come late to the party of understanding.
I have also been seeing a new shrink to help me deal with some mental health issues that have never really resolved, despite years now of sobriety and antidepressants. The diagnostic finger is pointing squarely at a couple of traumatic incidents that have been giving me visual/auditory/smell/taste flashbacks and making sleep difficult for nearly 20 years. It seems I may have developed a post traumatic stress disorder. The good news is, I probably don’t need to be on the antidepressant anymore, which means byeeeeeeee to side effects 🙂
Anyway, onwards and upwards. Dance like nobody’s watching. Vacuum the house in your underpants. Run up a hill past grass-chomping kangaroos listening to Biggy’s Hypnotise. You get the drift.